Ok , I have an amazing story that I want to share with you, but it requires some background information.
Last year my family and I took a class entitled “A Mind of Steel” taught by 3Key Elements. It taught our family about something they call, “dot people.” You know those voices you have in your head that argue with you or give you thoughts that bring you down? Those voices that are in you, yet are not YOU? Those are what we call “dot people.” In a cartoon depiction it’s the classic Angel and Devil talking to the person, who is confused and torn and GOING NOWHERE!
These voices plague us with negative thoughts all the day long. Sometimes we battle them and sometimes we succumb. The level of our success will depend upon how much we let these voices have time in our brain and a say in our choices.
Here it is: Dealing with Bullying
“Mom, I need to talk to you in private,” my son said.
Ok – We went into my bedroom and sat on the bed. My son then told me how the kids on the bus are not only calling him a nerd and weird, (which we knew) but also asking him every day if he is gay.
We have already had talks about looking strong and ignoring and staying busy doing other things, etc. etc. I was at a loss. What do I tell my amazing sweet innocent boy? How do I help him through this? I knew he had to get the anger out and so we talked about how he felt. I told him I wanted him to either say or write exactly how he felt and to ‘yell’ at the kids that were saying those things to him. I grabbed the pillows and propped them up on the bed. “This is who asks you every day if you are gay. And this is who calls you a nerd and this is who calls you weird. Now, tell them how they have made you feel and how mad you are.” He didn’t want to do it and had a hard time explaining his feelings.
I asked him to pray with me. I said the prayer. As we prayed, the thought came to my mind, “These are ‘dot people.’” Aha!!! I knew what to do! When the prayer ended, I explained to my son what was happening.
“Son, do you remember learning about the ‘dot people?’ People who tell us negative things in our minds and we have to block what they say. Do you remember?”
“Yes. I know. Mom, I try so hard!”
“I know! I know you do because here is what is happening. Remember on the CD “Mind of Steel” how Kirk explains that the dot people go to our head first, then our family and then… the other people out there? Well, you are blocking those thoughts and your family isn’t going to tell you those things, are we? No. So the dot people are now going to the kids on the bus and getting them to say those negative things to you. Son, it’s NOT THEM! It’s not the kids. It’s the dot people. You have to keep being strong, to keep blocking those thoughts. And when you do, NOTHING is going to stop you! You will be amazing! They are just making you strong!” At this point, he was crying in my arms. He wouldn’t look at me, but I just stayed there and held him.
“Ok Son, are you ready? Are you ready to yell?” He was still hesitant and so we started together. I didn’t want to put words in his mouth, but he was so hesitant. I asked, “Do you feel sad?”
Finally I was able to get him to say how he felt. He didn’t really yell, but he got his feelings out. He was much calmer now; more in control. When he was done, I said, “Now, tell them who you really are. Tell them the truth.”
He started with, “I am useful,” (his opposite of worthless.)
“What about valuable?”
“Ok. I am valuable.”
“And who are you?” I prompted.
“A child of God?” he said quietly.
“That’s right. Tell them.”
“I am a child of God,” he squeaked.
“Say it like you mean it!” We went on like this doing our declarations or affirmations to the same 3 pillows. He ran off that night happily repeating to himself who he is and how wonderful he is.
We have decided to do two tools every day from now on: declarations each morning before he goes to school, and each day when he returns home we are going to ‘yell’ at the kids and then tell them the truth. We also read Matt 5: 43-44 and talked about praying for these kids individually.
I am excited to see what happens!
On Monday morning we did declarations, read scriptures together and put on some essential oils that guard from negative energy and encourage positive connections with individuals.
He went off with a smile.
When he got home, he announced, “NO TEASING TODAY, MOM!!!”